Waxing Humiliation

Back in 1984 when I was all of 14 years old, I finally talked my mom into letting me get my eyebrows waxed. I was so excited... I had images of thinly arched brows, while wearing Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. (Not sure why the "swan jeans" were part of my dream, but they were.) Even though thicker brows were considered "in", I wasn't buying it. I didn't care WHAT Brooke Shields was wearing underneath her Calvins, all I knew is that I didn't want her eyebrows. Once my first eyebrow wax session was over, I was hugely disappointed. I could barely tell the difference. Aside from cleaning up the unibrow in the middle, they still basically looked the same. I still had what I've always called my Chewbacca Brows.
Through the years I've gotten much better about being more assertive with the people doing my brows. I'm not afraid to hold that hand mirror and give direction: "Nope, thin them out more please. Need more of an arch toward the middle." Also, back in 1984 I was told that eventually I wouldn't even have to wax my eyebrows. That the constant pulling out of the hair follicles would render the waxing process unnecessary. Bullsh*t. I could probably feeding a third world country for a day based on the amount of money I've spent on waxing.
And do you want to hear the beauty of it? As I've gotten older, I've had to wax more than just the eyebrows off my face. About 5 years ago I started getting my upper lip waxed. Sometimes my stylist, Amy, gets the tweezers out when she's done waxing "just to get the strays." One time about a year or two ago she paused, then asked "Do you mind if I remove one from your chin?" What? Seriously? I told her, "God, Amy if there is anyone who has authority to rip out a stray facial hair, it's YOU."
Now I've given her carte blanche to use her full authority in making sure my lip and chin area is hair free. I feel like each time I go in there for a wax I shouldn't even specify "lip and eyebrow wax." I should just ask for the "entire hairy face special." Last time I was there she spent an inordinate amount of time by my chin, and then God forbid, by my neck. She said she was just looking, closely, but I'm not sure. Then she took the tweezers and had a field day with that little area above the chin, right underneath the lower lip. Not sure if you've ever had anything tweezed/plucked in that area, but it is unbelievably sensitive. Finally, I think I grabbed her wrist and said, "Amy, for God's sake if you have to do my Soul Patch, next time just wax it. I can't stand the tweezing!"
To borrow a phrase, Gettin' old ain't for sissies. I'm just thankful I'm not at the stage where I have to get my nasal hairs trimmed. Yet.