Only call me at work if it's an emergency

Back in the day, say late 70s or early 80s, my brother and I would be at home some afternoons while my mom worked as a nurse in a clinic. She would always admonish us by saying "Only call me at work if it's an emergency." I think for the most part we took that to heart and followed the instructions well. I'm fairly certain she never knew about the times we would take off for hours on exploration field trips in the woods by our house, or when we'd make homemade weapons with rusty farm machinery we'd find lying around. My brother and I used to play a game called "War" that basically just allowed us to beat the crap out of each other with no ramifications. Nothing was off limits. That was when Mom would get a call at the clinic, and all she would hear was a croaking "He's KILLING me!"
I'm surprised she didn't just come home, spank us with the wooden spoon, tie us both up to chairs and then head back to work.
Things are different now. My kids call me at work all the time. I've tried threatening, bribing, pleading.... nothing seems to make a difference. I haven't even given them my direct line at work, because they would be blowing that number up non-stop. They just have my cell phone number, and that's dangerous enough. Here is a small sample of the "emergency only" calls I've received:
From Chloe: "Mom, you need to ground Frankie when you get home because she's making me do all her crap and I'm sick of it."
From Frankie: "Just so you know, Mom, Wyatt put a ladder up to his bedroom window, removed the screen and is now climbing out, and going up and down."
From Sophie: "Mom, I want a pair of Wildcat sweat-pants that say my name across the butt."
From Wyatt: "Mom, will you bring me home a treat?"
And this afternoon, I received an urgent call from my 13 year old daughter Frankie: "Seriously Mom you need to schedule me an eyebrow wax appointment IMMEDIATELY." Sigh... (see previous post regarding our family's issues with facial hair).
I suppose you can ask why I even bother answering the phone, knowing that 99% of the time they are just calls that make my right eye twitch uncontrollably. But it's always the 1% chance that someone has knocked out a tooth or needs stitches (also both examples of calls I've received.) I do need to keep in mind that in just a few short years, I will undoubtedly be checking my cell phone and hoping one of them has called... just to check in.