I'll never be the type of mother who will be able to leave to her children vast wealth, a huge inheritance or an immense jewelry collection. Nor will I ever be able to pass on patent-creating knowledge or information. I will, however, be able to share with them some lessons of life I've learned along the way. Nothing earth-shattering, nothing life-changing....just some tidbits that will hopefully save you some heartache and dirty underwear.
Make sure you learn to drive a stick shift. Not only may it save your life some day, but you look cool shifting gears. It helps to have a song in your head, too. I used to imagine myself in a Great White video while driving down the highway. With a Big Gulp in my lap.
When wearing a white blouse, make sure to always wear a beige bra underneath. Preferably something with a decent lining, too. The women in our family have nipples that like to announce themselves. A lot.
When it comes to choosing a career, follow your heart. Don't major in business because you think you should. Business majors are a dime a dozen and you'll end up having to take a statistics course.
Starting your working career means you'll most likely have to start with a job that requires you to wear a polyester uniform and a hair net.
If one of your grandparents start to tell you a story of when they were little, LISTEN. You might not get a chance to hear it again. Besides, they might also give you a butterscotch hard candy to suck on and a stack of Readers Digest to bring home.
Do not ever allow yourself to take Tylenol PM and Dulcolax within a couple hours of each other. I cannot be more serious about this one. It's never, ever a good idea.
Never charge whiskey or gasoline to a credit card; by the time the bill comes they've both been pissed away.
If some one's online dating profile says they're an entrepreneur, you can expect that to mean they live in some one's basement and most likely have a criminal record of some sort.
When on a first date, see how much they tip. If they short change the server, it can be a good indicator of how they treat others.
When you have that dreadful stomach virus and you're running to the bathroom, not sure which end it's going to come out of.... always, always SIT. Trust me on this one. Please.
If you get a chance to study abroad or travel overseas, by all means DO IT. Don't be afraid of what you might miss at home - I assure you the cows will still be here. Be more afraid of what you might miss OUT THERE.
People enjoy being with you because of how you make them feel. So when you smile, smile with your whole face. And not the lame-ass version, either. Smile so your teeth show and your eyes crinkle up.
When someone makes something for you - whether it's a scarf or a drawing or a home cooked meal - recognize that it's a gift from their heart. I know my children have a hard time believing that beef stroganoff is a loving gift, but I want them to know to be gracious when people cook for them. Because the older you get, the less it happens.
This list is not all-encompassing. That's why it's Volume 1. It's something I intend on adding on throughout the years.
And that's part of the fun of the unknown, isn't it? Who knows what sort of shenanigans are in store for us, that will cause us to have to write down a "Life Lesson" about it?
I can hardly wait!
A very wise list indeed. I love your perspective on life Vanessa!
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