I used to pride myself and my rock star skills at being able to accurately diagnose my kids with two separate ailments: broken bones and strep throat. It never failed; I was right more than 99% of the time. I could tell when one of my children had broken a bone just by how shrill their cry was. There is a definite difference when a child cries because a bone is broken compared to when they twist an ankle. I told my friends they could start to call me The Bone Whisperer. "Seriously, " I'd say. "When one of your kids gets hurt and you're not sure if anything is broken, just put them on the phone so I can hear 'em wail. I'll tell you either to get to the doctor right away or just ice and elevate it."
One time two of my daughters were having a handstand contest in the living room. In retrospect, probably not the best idea. I was in my bedroom folding clothes when I heard the collision. I didn't even have to see Sophie holding her arm to know what happened...I just heard her cry as she came down the hallway. I had already grabbed my purse and told everyone "Taking Sophie to the ER. Pretty sure she broke her collar bone." Two hours and over a thousand dollars worth of xrays later....I was vindicated. Ding, ding, ding... we have a winner.
When it comes to strep, I can usually tell by how my kids' voices sound. They sound different, like their tonsils are all swollen. Sometimes they have strep-breath and it smells like aluminum and medicine-y.
But lately my instincts haven't been so spot-on. Two summers ago Chloe fell off the back of the couch. A week later we were at a pool party and some of the adults were throwing the kids into the water. After the second time I noticed Chloe cradling her arm I got a little nervous. Sure enough, the next day at the doctor's office a broken arm was confirmed. "I feel horrible," I told the doctor. "I can't believe she's been running around for a WEEK with a broken arm."
The doctor just laughed. "Don't worry about it. Doctors' kids have it the worst. We never bring our kids in. My kid went weeks with a broken bone once."
This morning I had to bring Chloe in for a med check. While we were there I casually mentioned to the nurse, "I guess strep is going around the third grade. I got a note from her teacher. Can you give her a throat culture...she mentioned her throat hurt when she yawned last night..." Sure enough, the test came back positive. Boy I lucked out. Good thing I didn't wait for her voice to sound different.
I think I'm going to blame it on multi-tasking. The older the kids get the busier I get. I feel like I can never do just one thing at a time. I have to do several things at once to feel I'm "checking things off my list."
Last week I even successfully drove down I-94, steering with my knees while I used both hands to eat a Smashburger. Good grief, if I keep up activities like that it will be ME with broken bones.
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