Martha Stewart Can Suck It

Out of all the holidays there are, Easter is the one that makes me feel the most inadequate as a mother. Probably because I'm not exactly sure what's necessary to give my kids the warm fuzzy memories that will stay with them through adulthood. It seems like there's an awful lot of effort involved in this pastel-hell holiday and it makes me crabby.
Are Easter baskets enough?
Do we need to do a full scale egg hunt?
Do the plastic eggs need to be filled with treats and/or money?
And since when did the Easter bunny start providing "gifts" in the baskets? That almost seems like an expectation now.
Just to make myself feel worse, I went on Martha Stewart's website to see what her suggestions were for Easter. There's an entire article on how to make Crepe Paper Carrots. And if you have enough time, she'll instruct you how to hollow out eggshells and make vases for tiny floral arrangements.
Are you kidding me? Who in the hell has time for that?
Today after work I'll go home and dye eggs with the kids. Then I'll see if I have any Easter decorations to put out. Come to think of it, I probably should have thought to dig those out more than 36 hours before the actual holiday. If I'm feeling really domestic, maybe I'll use the Easter Bunny cake pan I bought several years ago, when I must have only had 2 kids and not 4. I think I've only used it once. It sits on a lonely shelf next to a cake pan I have shaped like a penis (purchased for a bachelorette party). Sadly, the penis cake pan has seen WAY more oven time than the bunny cake. Because hey... penis cakes are funny. Although, in full disclosure, Wyatt caught me decorating one once and he said, "Oh look, a guitar cake!" Ummm... not really. But quick, pose with it while I grab my camera because it'll make for a great picture when you're older.
Martha Stewart also suggests ways to make homemade Easter grass. And WHY would you need to do that? Because the bulk bags of it at Target for 25 cents is too expensive? It all comes down to cost and effort. It's exactly why I've only made homemade potato salad once in my life. It took an awful lot of time for something I could have picked up at the grocery store in five minutes flat.
Martha also shows ways how you and your children can make pom-pom bunnies and use them as centerpieces. Probably next to your newly constructed Easter grass.
No thanks.
I think we'll have a laid back Easter this year and leave the Martha madness to the over-achieving parents that I try not to hang out with.