Steel Magnolias and Hitchhikers

"Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." ~ Truvy, Steel Magnolias

A few months ago while I was still at home and recovering from my accident, the enormity of what had happened became a bit overwhelming. I looked around and took careful inventory of the reality of my life at that point.
I was using a walker.
I needed a raised toilet seat to ensure I could take a leak without injuring my leg.
It was St Patricks Day, 84 degrees out, and I was stuck at home.
I shuffled to my bedroom and had a mini, sadness-filled breakdown.
Or, as I like to call it, a Pity Party for One.
Luckily my friend Jill (who lives in California) happily took my phone call and patiently listened to my whoa-is-me speech. As usual, she murmured agreement in the appropriate places and offered fantastic advice. She's always had this uncanny ability to make me feel that whatever I'm thinking or doing is completely normal and acceptable.
"Oh really? You murdered a door-to-door salesman and disposed of his body? Well, who reads hard covered encyclopedias nowadays anyway? You did the world a favor."
During this particular phone call, however, she just listened carefully and acknowledged my frustration. She told me I had a perfectly good right to feel sorry for myself, and assured me things would get better.
The next morning I checked my email and there was a message from Southwest Airlines. "Jill has sent you a gift card for $500."
Within that email there was a personalized, simple message from Jill: "Come see me. Let me take care of you."
And of course, I cried the rest of the morning after reading that.
So a few days ago, I packed my bags and got ready to fly out and see her. It almost didn't even happen.
First of all, I told my dad the wrong terminal. Then, after he dropped me off at the right one, I walked in to see the longest security line I've ever seen in my life. It wrapped through lines, over a sky way and down an escalator.
I had less than an hour before my plane took off. This was going to be a nail-biter the entire way; I could tell.
Finally, I was next in line to be x-rayed. I glanced up at the clock: 6:33 am. My flight was supposed to take off at 6:40.
After I hurriedly shoved my boarding pass at the ticket agent a few minutes later, she looked at me and said in a slow, southern drawl: "Honey, you better RUN."
Yeah, with a recovering hip injury.
I did a pathetic shuffling, trotting move that I think may have resembled a run. I finally boarded the plane with seconds to spare. Yikes.
Several hours later, which included a plane change, a shuttle ride and an uncomfortable moment when a homeless person next to me picked things out of his beard while I was waiting at the shuttle drop off place - Jill arrived to pick me up. Talk about a sight for sore eyes.
We spent the next several days just talking, anywhere and everywhere. We chatted around a bonfire, over the kitchen counter and while walking near the ocean. We talked over lunch (and laughed like a couple 16 year olds when we saw the restaurant's sign advertising their "Blackened Snapper") and while we had our nails done.
We talked even more after I had a visit with a psychic.
The psychic told me I had had an unlucky past year, but that was going to change. She announced I had already met my next soul mate and I would be getting married again.
Jill and I furtively tried to figure out who my next "soul mate" was.
Could it be the date I went on where he casually mentioned to me that he owed so much in back child support that he was forbidden to get a passport? Could it be the date where I offered to treat for a cocktail and a shared appetizer, and he proceeded to order walleye, steak and several shots?
Dear god, I hope not.
We spent hours discussing how our kids were doing, and the ever tricky navigation of a mother-daughter relationship with our teen girls.
Yesterday we took a road trip to Big Sur. It was breathtakingly beautiful.
At our first stop, we parked the car and got out to take pictures.
"Now be careful," she said nervously, as she watched me back up toward the edge of the hill. "I'm scared you're going to fall back over the cliff."
"You're right," I agreed. "That would be freaking tragic."
We carefully made our way down the side of a hill, and realized we both needed to go to the bathroom.
Now.
Here's the thing about Wisconsin girls: we can pop a squat just about anywhere. And we do. We're fast, efficient and discreet.
At least, we think we're discreet. As we made our way up the steep incline, we noticed a group of Japanese tourists taking pictures.
"Jesus," Jill said. "I hope we don't end up on some video that goes viral."
After a day of sightseeing and lunch, we headed toward her house again. We noticed a hitchhiker on the side of the road.
Jill turned to me. "Hey, should we give him a ride? I've never done that before."
I stared at her incredulously. "Are you kidding? No we should not. I've never taken a homeless person home and spooned with him before either, but that doesn't mean I think I should."
I think we do a good job of balancing each other out.
Later on we decided to watch "Steel Magnolias." We made our dinner, poured ourselves another cocktail and settled on to the couch for one of our favorite movies.
Yeah, liquor combined with a movie about a daughter dying did not make the best combination.
At one point I had tears streaming down my face. I couldn't even look at Jill because I knew she was reacting the same way. When the movie was finally over I turned to her, eyes practically swollen shut and snot running down my nose. "Don't you EVER make me watch that movie again. I mean it."
She agreed and promptly put in Comedy Centrals "Roast of Charlie Sheen."
Ahhh...much better. Nothing like plain old raunchy humor about hookers and cocaine to take the edge off.
So today I get ready to board my plane. I am sad that the vacation was over so quickly, but more than that - so very grateful I had the chance to come.
And in the end, Jill did exactly what she promised:
She took care of me.