I think I'm going to blame it on my babysitter in the 70's.
When I was about 9 and my brother was 6, my parents went out some rare evening and hired a babysitter. It got to be about bedtime, and I was pestering her with questions on her exotic teenage life.
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Do you go on dates?"
"Have you seen any movies?"
"Actually, yes," she answered. "We just saw a movie called 'When a Stranger Calls.'"
My brother and I begged her to tell us what it was about.
"Well," she began, "it was about this babysitter..."
"Yeah??" my brother and I replied, each sprawled out on the floor in front of her, wearing our pajamas, chins in our hands, not even taking our eyes off of her.
"And she was watching these kids and she kept getting prank calls where all she could hear was 'Have you checked on the children?' And she was getting so worried and she finally called the police. After a few more calls the police called her back and said 'The calls are coming from inside the house!' So the babysitter ran out and the police showed up."
My brother and I looked at each other, then back at her. "What about the kids?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah," she replied. "Well, they were brutally murdered."
She stretched her arms over her head.
"Ok, you two. Time for bed."
I think at that point in time my brother and I both had the exact same thought running through our heads: "You gotta be f---in' kidding me."
I'm pretty sure the two of us slept in the same room for the next three years.
Scary movies have had ahold of me ever since. The gory ones, like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, don't scare me nearly as much as the thriller/suspense ones. I remember watching "Omen" as a ten year old and becoming almost paralyzed with the baboon freak-out scene and the chilling words: "...for it is the number of a man; and his number is 666." It was probably one of the only times I raced to open up the bible to confirm.
"Holy shit..." I whispered to myself. This was heavy duty stuff. I think I remember pinning my brother down one time to check the back of his neck when he was acting suspiciously unruly.
Sorry about that, Shawn.
Now my kids love to sit around and watch zombie movies. "Dawn of the Dead" was our most recent showcase during Family Movie Night. (save your Poor Parenting Choices nominations...I've got that award in the bag already)
Zombie movies are okay, but I don't think they're terrifying.
Not like "Blair Witch Project." I saw that movie at a matinee and I still was nervous walking in the theater's parking lot afterwards during the middle of the day. It swore me off camping for years.
I watched "The Ring" and now am never able to come within five feet of a well.
I went to go see "Paranormal Activity" and was so freaked out I had to go to church the next day. While in the theater I became one of those people who talk back to the screen: "Are you outta your mind? Why would you bring a Ouija board into your house? Girl... you are just ASKING for trouble."
And I'm not kidding around with that Ouija board stance. It is strictly forbidden in my home. My mom once casually mentioned that she would pick up one for my kids and I almost had a stroke. "Absolutely not!" I told her. "You do not mess around with that stuff."
And a fair warning to my brother ~ if you think you're being funny and get my kids a Ouija board for Christmas this year, I swear to God I will take a crap and put it in your mailbox.
Remember that scene in "The Shining", when Jack Nicholson's character is chasing his wife and son through that maze of trees while it's snowing? It's that image that makes me run to the mailbox at night during winter at record speed.
Now my girlfriends want to schedule a Scary Movie Sleepover. I like the concept... we all sit around in our pajamas and eat appetizers and tell local scary stories and watch horror movies. But I get nervous when I think of how it's going to end.
Everyone's going to eventually nod off and go to sleep. Everyone but me. I'll be awake, checking out the windows, making sure the doors are locked, and trying to hold my bladder until morning.
So yes, I admit I'm a big talker and say I love to watch scary movies.
In daylight.
Surrounded by other people.
With a dog by my side.
And now that it's October and scary movies are on cable every night, let's see how brave I can finally be. Maybe I'll be able to finally listen to the theme music to "Halloween" without sweat running from my armpits.
That dang babysitter.
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