I mean, really...how did we send a quick "OMW" to a friend to let her know we were on our way? How did we ever notify someone we were already in their driveway without texting a quick "Here"?
Do you think we actually got OUT of our cars, walked to the front door and rang the doorbell?
I suppose we did, years and years ago.
I bought my first cell phone in either 1995 or 1996. It was dark gray and the size of a small loaf of bread. I had to pay extra for the flip part on the bottom, and I thought it was worth every cent of the extra $40 for that feature. I can remember being in a restaurant and standing up to "make a call." I thought I was cooler than shit when I flipped it open, and then pulled out the 7 inch antennae. I knew all eyes were on me and everyone was insanely jealous.
Nowadays the phones get smaller and smaller, and the demand for them gets bigger and bigger. My two older girls have their own phones, and my two younger kids beg me routinely for one of their own.
I try to explain to them that when I was young, we didn't have cell phones. We didn't even know what they were. I remember when my parents got my brother and I our own separate phone line for our bedrooms...I thought I had died and gone to heaven. This was back in the day when we only had to dial 5 digits to make a local call, too. When I try explaining this, my kids look at me like I just told them I used to take a horse and buggy to school.
A couple months ago my son Wyatt called me from my parents' house.
"Mom," he said breathlessly. "You are not going to believe this. I am using a phone in grandma and grandpa's basement. And I had to stick my finger in a hole and move it in a circle to dial your number. Did you ever see such a thing?"
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Yes, honey. It's called a rotary. And your grandpa refuses to get rid of it because he's convinced that nothing can beat its quality and reception."
Wyatt was quiet for a minute. "I have never, ever seen anything like this before."
I shouldn't be surprised. Kids are more familiar with cell phones and their technology than their parents. At least mine are. My daughters can figure out an Android faster than a Republican can find a tax loop hole.
And I have to admit...I love that I have "instant access" to my kids when they're out and about. They know they need to answer my calls or texts or they risk losing their phones. I don't ever put up with "My phone was shut off" or "I didn't bring it with me." I don't care if they have to attach it to the side of their face with duct tape; I want to make sure I can reach them. Screw individual civil liberties...I'd plant a chip in their heads to keep track of them if I could. I'm halfway tempted to bring them to the vet to do it. If I can get my golden retriever implanted with a micro-chip, why can't I do it to my teenagers?
Now on the flip side of having instant access to my kids, they also have instant access to me. And during summer vacation, they call and text me throughout the day. I could literally check the TMobile bill and it would show hundreds and hundreds of calls and texts with their necessary attempts to reach me.
Some of the texts are more along the lines of FYI:
"Taking the dog to the park"
or
"We're out of milk"
Some of the texts are to tattle on their siblings:
"Sophie kicked me"
"The dog crapped on the steps and no one is cleaning it up"
or
"Wyatt just said the c-word."
I wasn't too concerned about this one. I figured the c-word was crap. Not my favorite, but I later found out it was worse. Much worse. I came home and asked him about it. "Wyatt, what c-word did you say earlier?"
He looked at me seriously. "I'm not supposed to repeat it."
"Just tell me," I told him. "I need to know."
He took a deep breath. "Well, it starts with a 'c' and rhymes with sunt."
We both just looked at each other, neither saying another word.
"Where'd you hear that?" I finally asked him.
"I don't remember. But I told Grandpa about it."
"Oh really? And what did Grandpa say when you told him?"
"He told me that it was probably the worst swear word there is, and no matter what...I should never, ever say that word in front of a woman."
Good call, Dad. And here I just thought you were teaching him lawn mower safety.
Now I have to attempt to parent via cell phone technology. It helps me give some direction as I'm leaving the office: "I want the house cleaned before I walk in the front door or you lose your phones and everyone goes to bed by 7:30 tonight."
And voila ~ the house is usually clean when I get home.
It also helps me figure out what sort of moods I'm going to encounter before I get there. One of texts that still make me laugh was one I got last year on my way home from work:
"I need pads and Teen Midol."
Oh greaaaattttt
So I know there are plenty of parents who don't think kids in middle school need cell phones but I choose to focus on the benefits. I can reach my children faster, threaten them and bribe them. They can instruct me to pick up Teen Midol without their brother overhearing. They can take pictures and listen to music.
I found a picture of me when I was just a few weeks old, barely able to hold my head up. Thank goodness the photographer found it necessary to prop up a big (rotary) phone next to me. I might have fallen over. But I think I look pretty excited in the picture. Excited that I've discovered a new way to communicate. See, kids are just ingrained to want to talk on the phone. At least girls are!
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