I think I speak for most of us when I say these last four weeks feel like it's been going on for a good six months at least.
So far 2020 has been a real kick in the ass, wouldn't you agree?
Within a matter of weeks, all of our lives were turned upside down. Schools started doing e-learning, people were working at home, and almost everyone started following states' stay-at-home orders. Toilet paper suddenly became as rare as a nun in a strip club.
When I realized that my kids weren't going to be going to school for the foreseeable future and would do their homework online, I was secretly relieved. Relieved because my two youngest are in high school and pretty self sufficient. I wasn't going to have to do much, unlike those other poor souls. And by poor souls I mean the parents who are going to have to actually HOME SCHOOL their kids. I would fail my kids so miserably if I had to do that, they'd undoubtedly be repeating the same grade next year.
I'm sure there are parents out there who are CRUSHING it with this at-home stuff.
I am not one of those parents.
I'm letting them sleep in, stay up late. I don't hound them about their homework unless I get an email or call from a teacher. Then I try to pretend I'm totally aware of it and assure them it will be turned in.
I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to parenting during this pandemic. Am I talking about it enough with them? Should I bring it up more? I know they're aware of what's going on.
Before the school shut down, my daughter Chloe, a senior, said "It's bad enough we have to worry about school shootings, now we have to worry about a virus that can kill us too??"
I had no answer for her. Maybe that's why I keep things lax at home. Half the time I don't even know what day of the week it is, I just wander around the kitchen aimlessly and open the fridge 17 times in an hour. We're all just kind of surviving in our "new normal."
The other day as I was taking a shower I raised my arms to wash my hair and let out a little scream. I can't remember the last time I had that much armpit hair. I glanced at my legs and shuddered. Yikes.
"Okay little buddy," I said as I picked up the razor. "Get ready. You're gonna have your work cut out for you." Once I got done weed-whacking my legs, I felt a little more normal.
Aside from my grown out roots and my disastrous attempt to cut some layers and trim my bangs, I'm just settling into my new identity of quarantine chic.
As a mom of older children, I have to admit there are some incredible benefits of everyone being forced to stay home.
I can't remember the last time we all had a movie night, so I suggested one at the beginning of all this. At the time a couple of my daughters weren't really talking to each other; they had been mad about something for a couple weeks and it was tense at times. You can't force teens and young adults to get along like when they're little and you can threaten them with both having to wear a single over-sized "Get Along" shirt . But when everyone was sitting on the couch watching "Contagion" and eating snacks and laughing and getting along, I actually teared up because I was so giddy. Of course they made fun of me but I didn't care. Different things make me happy as a mom now.
When I told Chloe she couldn't go on the spring break trip to Florida with her friends at the end of March, I felt awful. She was already missing prom and her birthday party and all the fun at the end of senior year.
I may have felt awful, but Chloe was furious. For some reason I was the only mom sounding the alarm on this trip. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone... none of the other moms seem worried.
Luckily Clearwater's beaches officially closed, so I quickly sent the article to the mom planning the trip.
"Ok, we'll reschedule" she replied.
Whew, at least it wasn't just me being the overly cautious mom in the group.
Chloe was still angry. She stormed down to her room when I told her.
"Why are you mad at me?" I asked incredulously. "The trip HAS to be postponed, the beaches are closed. It's not just me saying you shouldn't go."
"Well, you saw to that didn't you?" she yelled back.
"So now I'm to blame for a GLOBAL PANDEMIC?? Ok, got it." I rolled my eyes.
If I'm getting blamed for things out of my control, then maybe things aren't all that different after all in our house. It's a little bit of"regular life" creeping back into our lives, and I'll take it.
I know in my heart things will go back to normal eventually. So I'm going to try not and beat myself up for watching too much Netflix and not enforcing stricter routines with the kids. I'm going to enjoy the nights home when we're all together, and make peace with my continual wardrobe of sweats.
We're all going to get through this, that's what is important.
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