Friendships, Drama and Duran Duran

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think parents of middle-school students, especially daughters, should get some type of merit badge. Something along the lines of a patch with a cell phone, lap top and the saying "I Survived Middle School Drama And Only Developed 2 Facial Tics in the Process."
I love my daughters, I really do, but I admittedly struggle when they're going on and on about the latest friendship dispute and/or boyfriend trouble.
"...and then oh my god, I am totally not even kidding when I tell you this..."
"...seriously, she just thinks she can tell all my friends that I can't keep a secret, when MOM - you KNOW I CAN..."
"...and now he's sending me messages on Facebook because he likes me again, but he is a total player..."
What? Huh? He's 12.
It's so different from when my young son comes to me with drama.
"He wasn't throwing the football back to me so I just came home."
Oh. Ok. Easy enough to understand.
I struggle with when to tell my daughters to work it out with their friends, and when I feel they should just move on. My own middle-school years seem really far away, but I am still friends with women I met before I even picked up my first Judy Blume book.
One time a friend of mine told me: "You know what, Vanessa? You never burn any bridges."
I wasn't exactly sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, so I just mumbled a quick "thanks." Now I know my life has been made infinitely richer because of all the friends I have acquired, from the early 70's on.
I'm grateful to them for so many different reasons.
I have a friend that thought I was a boy when we first met at the age of 5 because my hair was so short. Years later she introduced me to Bad Boys Who Drove Trucks and Lived in Ellsworth.
I have friends I met in elementary school  ~ we bonded through our love of Charlie's Angels and Duran Duran. Now we Skype with each other and swap recipes.
I have friends I met at college  ~ we trudged through snow to get to class (or stay in the dorms and smoke, um, stuff...). Now we compare photos of our kids and complain about wrinkles.
I have friends that I've met at the (probably too many) jobs I've had since college ~ we've gone to happy hours and weddings and even followed each other to new jobs.
I have friends I met through pure chance and circumstance, like Girl Scout meetings and school concerts.
I don't think it matters how we meet our friends or at what stage of life they enter ours. Sometimes it's just meant to be. Fate has a way of bringing into your life people that you need at just the right time.
I am blessed to call all of them my friends. They've been there for me in the highlights of my life ~ my great achievements and happiest of moments. They've been there when things just suck ass, too ~ losing my job, then my house, and my impending divorce.
Regardless of the time between visits or calls, it's like sliding on a pair of your favorite jeans. Everything fits where it's supposed to.
Friends like that are rare... they know where all the bodies are buried.
So when I think about these lifelong friendships I've been blessed with, maybe I should be a little more patient with my girls and their "drama."
I'm sure the girls from Prescott Middle School and I used to fight all the time in the early 80's about who was cuter: John Taylor or Simon Lebon. I probably pestered my mother relentlessly: "Like, ohmigod Mom, John Taylor is fersure the cuter one. AS IF anyone would pick Simon..."
And as she undoubtedly would feign interest, she was probably thinking to herself: "Oh for crying out loud... why is this even being debated? Who cares? Now Paul and Ringo... THERE'S a couple of boys worth fighting over."