Netflix and chill...

It's not like I'm completely clueless when it comes to figuring out the lingo and accepted behavior of teens and young adults.
I know when to use "on fleek" compared to its first cousin "on point." (Hint... it has to do with eye brows).
I could, if forced, correctly use the phrase "turnt up" properly.
I know I'm supposed to only "like" my kids' statuses and photos on social media. God forbid if I make an actual comment, it mysteriously disappears within a couple minutes.
And if I answer a text like a 13 year old (Chloe: "Mom can we go to Target this weekend?" Me: "YASSS!") she'll most likely roll her eyes but at least she'll have to acknowledge I used the word in the correct context.
But I will admit it took me a bit to catch on to the true meaning of the phrase "Netflix and chill."
I truly thought it meant just that... come over to binge watch some series like "American Horror Story" or "Orange is the New Black", order a pizza and relax on the couch.
I had no idea that everyone under the age of 30 was using it as a code for having sex.
How did I miss that?
And seriously, why you gotta ruin a good thing? A true Netflix and chill date is my idea of a near-perfect evening. Your date comes over with some beer, and you decide on which episode of "House of Cards" to start. Plus, you're most likely wearing yoga pants and you're already in a semi-horizontal position, so if you DO decide to get frisky after a bit, you're already halfway there. It's like the lazy girl's dream date. But there's no ultimate expectation. Maybe you end up doing the horizontal tango, maybe you don't. It's a mystery. But hey, at least you get to watch some good TV.
Another thing that changed in the dating landscape over the last several years is the term "send me a picture." When I first started dating after my divorce, and some guy would ask me to send him a picture, I honestly thought he meant a head and shoulder shot. Like, similar to our senior pictures from the 80s, when we used to give a wallet sized picture to our crush. Now, it usually means "send me a nude."
Whatever. I can usually creatively get through that conversation without sending a close up of my va jay jay. The worst is when the guy does one of the most annoying things out there when you're starting to date: sends an unsolicited dick pic.
Honestly, why???
What am I supposed to say? How am I supposed to react? It's one thing if you asked him to send it...it's quite another if it's from a guy you just shared an appetizer with at TGI Fridays.
I heard someone say once that women usually react to an unsolicited dick pic similar to when some one's cat shows up with a dead mouse at the front door: we murmur "thank you, that's nice", and the second they turn their head, we throw it away.
So maybe that will be the biggest challenge when it comes to my dating life - figuring out what exactly means what. I will need to be clear about what I'm asking. God forbid I text a potential date "Send me a pic" and then, without warning, I get a picture of his "baby arm".
Thank god I have teenagers that usually keep me clued in. And there's always Google and Urban Dictionary. When in doubt, search it out.
Speaking of my kids, I think a good old fashioned horrifying conversation is overdue.
I think I'll tell 'em I can't wait until next weekend so I can Netflix and chill with someone.